Looking Glass Soul
by saphiralupin07
Summary: He's the same man but a bit different. He will take the rest of his life, if he has to, to show her that.
1. Chapter 1

**LOOKING GLASS SOUL  
**By SaphiraLupin07

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**DISCLAIMER**: The names, images and logos identifying the BBC and their products and services are subject to copyright, design rights and trade marks of the BBC. Used without permission for non-profit, non-commercial personal use.

**SUMMARY**: He's the same man but a bit different. He will take the rest of his life, if he has to, to show her that. Post-Journey's End.

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"_someone just like you has come again..._"

-- Yeah Yeah Yeah,"_Diamond Sea_"

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Rose watches as the TARDIS disappears from this world, so unlike before. Yet, it still hurts to watch the blue box fade from this existence, once again without her inside it. Tears roll down her cheeks, smudging the make-up that's caked on her face from tears and sweat of earlier. The wind begins to die down when she feels a hand enclose around hers.

A familiar but different hand wraps itself around hers. She can feel the newness of his skin before the TARDIS console had its chance to callous them. There's one difference between the Doctor and this Doctor. The hand that grips hers tightly feels the way it did after he regenerated, before he slipped into the coma. A warmth spreads from the hand through-out her hand and across her body. She can feel the pulse of his singular heart against her wrist. Another difference, the Doctor's hand had always had a coldness to it while this one, no matter how she tried to shake it off, radiates warmth.

Rose turns to look at the occupant of the hand, and intense brown eyes stare back at her when he catches her gaze. In his eyes she can see the darkness in their depths; she can see the loneliness that her first Doctor's eyes held when she met him that fateful day at Henrick's. His eyes squint in the sunlight of this forsaken beach and already she can see the wrinkles forming around his tired eyes.

The Doctor grips her hand tighter, and with one last look at where the TARDIS had once stood, they turn and walk back towards her mother. A soft but sad smile forms on Jackie's lips, and with her free hand she reaches out towards Rose and the Doctor. The same smile forms on the Doctor's lips when Rose's free hand encloses around her mother's.

"I should be calling your father," Jackie replies, holding up her old and battered mobile from their old universe. No matter how Pete tries to convince her to get another one, she can't seem to let this old thing go.

"How exactly are we getting home?" the Doctor asks, the words foreign and weird on his tongue. Home had always been the TARDIS, but now home would be wherever Rose was.

"Zeppelin," both Rose and Jackie say in unison. Rose looks over at the Doctor, his dark eyes lighting up a bit just around the corners.

"Really?" the Doctor asks, turning to look at Rose fully. The light Rose saw disappears, but the maddening smile that always made her weak at the knees , is beaming back at her.

Rose does not say a word but nods her head at him. She can hear her mum talking to her father over the phone. She can imagine the look on Pete's face while he juggles her little brother and the phone.

"Oh, we have one less passenger," Jackie says sadly into the phone. Her aging eyes sparkle with tears, but she does not let them fall. Her voice seems to pick up a bit when she explains the next part to Pete. "We have another passenger though," she replies into the phone. "You'll see," she replies with a light smile. "Give Tony a kiss for me. I love you," she whispers into the phone then looks over at Rose and the Doctor when she ends the call.

They are looking at her, hands gripped tightly together while they stand not even an inch apart. His shoulder brushes against Rose's occasionally while he stares back at Jackie. Even though Rose does not want to see it, not quite yet when the rejection is still raw, that she shivers at even the smallest touch from this Doctor.

"Your father will be here in awhile," Jackie finally says, tearing her eyes away from them to look down at the wet sand.

The high tide is coming in soon, she knew all too well from the last time she stood on this beach. They would need to get to higher part of the beach, but somewhere Pete could still find them.

"I think we should get to higher ground," Jackie offers, looking up from the wet sand to look at her daughter and the Doctor again.

Rose watches this Doctor look out the ocean beside them. Even though the tide is low, by the time that Pete arrives, the swell of the Bad Wolf Bay would shallow them.

"For once, Jackie, you are right," the Doctor replies. He tugs at Rose's hand and starts to pull her towards a path pass the rocks.

Once they had made it to the rocks, a safe distance from the coming tide, Jackie places her hand upon her daughter's shoulder. Jackie wasn't stupid, she knows how Rose feels. She had lost her husband, the man she loved with all of her heart and shared a child with. Rose and the Doctor never had that kind of relationship, but she knew her daughter loved the other Doctor with all of her heart. She spent twenty years without Pete while Rose spent only a few without the Doctor. The other Doctor gave her the one thing she missed dearly and never thought shed have again, Pete. Now he gave her daughter the same.

"Talk to him," Jackie whispers into Rose's ear before kissing her softly on the cheek. She points to a small bench at top of the hill then begins to walk away.

Rose watches her mother until she sits down at the bench and looks off into the distance. She turns her head to let her gaze fall on the Doctor. His blue jacket is undone and flaps in the wind while he stares at the spot his old home had once been. A lump forms in her throat, and she hasn't even consider how hard its been for him, how hard it will be for him. She has been here three years and though she had been looking for him in that time, she had lived a life. She looks one last time at her mother, as if to gather strength, then walks over to him.

He barely even notices she sits beside him on the rocks. His brown undershirt in his only defences against the bitter cold that seems to be cutting through her blue leather jacket. She wants to reach over and button his jacket, but her hand comes to rest where it had before. She can feel his singular heart beating beneath her cold hand. His chest muscles is tight and muscular against her hand, and the fabric of his brown shirt is warm and soft.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against the wind, but she hears him.

"For what?" Rose asks, moving her hand away from his chest when he looks over at her.

"For me," he answers simply, his intense brown eyes becoming dark with sadness.

Rose looks at him, keeping on her eyes on his lips because she cant dare to look into his eyes that are filled with sadness, rage, darkness and in their depths, love. She moves her hand that was once on his chest to his hand. Her fingers slides between his, and he wraps his fingers with hers. She can feel unconsciously feel him rubbing his thumb against hers and single tear rolls down her cheek.

"Don't be silly", she finally says, following his gaze to where the magnificent ship had once stood. "You didn't do anything," she breathes out softly. "He's the one that left me, left us behind," she whispers against the wind, but she knows he hears hers.

"I committed genocide, Rose," he cries out, the first time hes shown true human emotion since he told her he loved her and she snogged him senseless.

"True," she whispers and she can feel him tense against her. "That was that world," she whispers and leans close to him, her head inches from his shoulder. "You have a new start in this one," she finishes and smiles her first true smile in hours.

"Its not that easy," he replies as he turns and looks at her fully. Tears are rolling down his cheeks and she can't resist bringing her hand up to wipe them away.

"Why cant it be?" she smiles reassuringly while she wipes the tears off his cheeks.

"Because I'll remember," he whispers over the wind.

"Like he said," she pauses, looking back at the sea. What can she do now, when she is forever sealed from him, but the other different but same version of him is sitting next to her. She will do what he asked her to do when he had the TARDIS take her home from Satellite Five and what he asked of here. "That's what Im here for," she finishes.

She sits in silence with him until she can hear the hum of her fathers zeppelin in the distance. She never thought she would call this reality's Pete her father. He was however, just as kind and giving as her own father. He loved her like her own father would have, and he made her mother happy. In the end, that's all that counts. To see her mother smile like she used to. She can hear her mother's voice in the distance while she nears them, but she doesnt take her eyes away from this Doctor. The Doctor who looking out at the sea like a lost boy, but that's what he is. Born in the middle of a war, killing for revenge and longing for a place he wasn't born for.

When her mother joins them, Rose is sitting as close to the Doctor as she can get. Hisouter thigh rests against hers. Jackie notices when she shivers, but says nothing as the zeppelin begins to form in the distance. When Jackie went back to their old world with Mickey, she never thought shed be leaving Mickey there and bring a version of the Doctor back with them. She didn't think, but she had hoped, Rose would have came back with her. There was no reason to look back at it now, it was time to move on - to help them move on the best a mother could. Even though she hated to admit it sometimes, but she loved the Doctor, this Doctor or the Doctor, like a son.

Jackie stood back watching the couple, the hum of the arriving zeppelin going louder with every second. The Doctor stands to his feet, his fingers still wrapped around Roses. He pulls her gently with him and stands like a statue while their ride draws nearer to them. When the zeppelin stop only inches from the ground, Rose can see her father standing the cockpit area with Tony on his hip. His smile fades a little but never disappears when he notices who shes holding hands with.

"Hello," the Doctor replies when he enters the zeppelin behind Jackie and Rose. Pete continues to stare at him while Tony reaches out for his sister to take him.

"Whats he doing here?" Pete finally said, looking over at Rose while she takes Tony into her arms. The young boy clings to her while he eyes the Doctor curiously.

"We will explain later, dad," Rose replies softly. "Let's just get home," she finishes and smiles while walking hand and hand with the Doctor to a seat.

"Right," Pete breathes out while he watches his daughter, son and the Doctor take a seat near Jackie. Tony bounces on Roses legs while she smiles at him. "Home," Pete finishes while the Doctors nervous and unsure laughter fills the zeppelin.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Rose."_

It was her name being spoken in that soft fragile voice that brings her from the cloudiness of her dreams. A hand moves a piece of her darker blonde hair from her face to behind her ear. She doesn't open her eyes, afraid she will forget the nice dream she had been having. She can still hear the hum of the TARDIS in her ears. She can still feel the pulse of the living machine underneath her hands as she rests them on the edge of the console.

"Rose," he whispers again, closer to her ear this time. She can feel his warm breathe on the side of her neck.

Rose groans when she feels him move away from her. She can feel herself falling back into a deep sleep. The exhaustion of the last few weeks are finally taking their toll on her body. Warm, muscular arms wrap around her legs and back before they hoist her up, and close to a hard muscular frame. Unconsciously, she wraps her arms his neck, and rests her head against his shoulder. She can hear muffled voices around her, but she can not understand what they are saying. In the distance, she can her a child crying throughout the rest of the noises. She's drifting between her reality and her dreams. She can feel the material of his jacket underneath her fingers, but the material feels wrong. The cotton is hard and rough, not like his brown suit that is soft to the touch. She whimpers in her sleep, tears falling from her eyes.

"Don't leave me," she cries in her sleep. She grips to neck of jacket, the material creasing underneath her fingers. "Don't please, not again," she calls out.

The strong arms pull her closer to his body, and her tears soak into the jacket. He has started moving; moving to where, she doesn't know. She clings to him none the less, while he carries her. Rose turns her face into his chest when a bright light invades the dark and warmth. Cool London air hits her skin, but she doesn't dare open her eyes. She lets him carry her from the zeppelin to a black S.U.V she knows is waiting to take them to her flat near the London Eye.

She hears her mother telling her she'll talk to her later, and she merely nods her head against his chest. She can hear the hum of the engines from the car, then the feel of leather against her hands when he's placing her into the awaiting car. He places a soft kiss on her forehead before squatting into the seat beside her.

The ride to her flat is long and filled with silence. His only reassurance is his hand tightly gripped with hers. She rests her head against his shoulder then takes a deep breathe. His scent fills her nose, and she feels the lump form in her throat. Even in human form, he smells of jelly babies, sandalwood and mint.

"Miss Tyler, we are almost to your flat," she hears one of her father's drivers reply, but before she can respond, someone else does.

"Let her sleep," comes a voice from next to her. A hand reaches into her jacket pocket. She feels him pull out the dimension cannon device, then finally finds what he was looking for, her house keys.

"Yes, sir," replies the driver, looking back at the Doctor in the rear-view mirror.

"Please, don't call me sir," the Doctor replies, a polite but awkward smile on his face.

Rose can feel the thickness of sleep taking over her again when the car stops. She begins to open her eyes when she hears the car door open.

"Open the door for me, good sir," the Doctor replies, throwing Rose's keys to the driver before he climbs out.

Strong arms take ahold of her and lift her body once again into their embrace. She begins to feel bad that's he's carrying her. She knows how to walk, but the feel of his arms around her once again likes this, brings back memories of their adventures. She stays still in his arms, but that doesn't stop the tears that are running down her cheeks. Her eyes are barely open, but she can see the blue colour of his jacket.

The Doctor looked up Rose's flat, house, home or whatever you want to call it. The formality of the grey brick and white shutters makes him shiver. Nonetheless, he follows Mr. Tyler's loyal driver up the walk from the S.U.V. The young man has opened the gate and up the stairs to the front door before the Doctor had even made it to the iron fence. Rose is still in arms, but he can feel her uneven breaths she's taking against his body.

"I left the keys on the table near the door," the young man replies once the Doctor walks over the threshold of the house.

The Doctor nods at the young man and looks around himself while the young man leaves. Once he hears the door click shut behind him, he looks down at Rose. It isn't until he looks down at her that he realizes just how worn his body is. She is becoming heavy in his arms though her now tiny frame betrayed the fact.

He smiles, looking around the entryway. The only carpet that he can see is leading off the entry to the stairs and joining hallway that leads off from the front door. The walls are white and clean, almost clinical and blinding against his tired eyes. He eyes the stairs before climbing up them. This house seems too large for a woman that lives by herself. A natural coloured room with a double bed catches his eye, and he walks towards it.

It is nothing like her bedroom at the Estates. The room is pale, earthy tones, and the only pink he can see in the light salmon shade of her duvet. Her breathing has change since he had walked into the house; it was laboured and slow. Placing her on the bed, he slowly peels her blue jacket off, leaving her in her purple Henley. Then he moves to her boots, pulling them off before softly laying her feet back down on the bed.

He spots a chair in the corner of the room, and grabs the throw absentmindly laying on the arm. He places it over her then leans down and softly kisses her on the forehead. Without a word, he moves to the chair he took the throw from and settles down in it. The Doctor unlaces his maroon Converse before pulling them off and placing them next to the chair. Oversized and comfy, he pulls his trousers clad legs up to his chest and watches her sleep until sleep itself overtakes him.

She's warm and comfortable, is the first thing that comes to her mind as the haziness of her sleep begins to dissipate from her mind. Her lean body stretches across the length of the bed before she even opens her eyes. Her mind is hazy, and the soft groan from a corner of the room startles her. Rose's eyes pop open, and she shifts her gaze towards the sound of the noise. Light is pouring in through her lace curtains, the midday sun beating off every reflective surface.

"Good morning," he yawns, his feet hitting the wood of her floors. As he stretches from his uncomfortable spot on the chair, he smiles lightly at her.

"Why did you sleep in the chair?" Rose asks, pulling herself upright in the bed. She can still feel the roughness of her black trousers and thanks the heavens that he hadn't changed her.

"I…I didn't think you wanted me to…" he stops and points at her bed. Rose bites her lip to hold back the giggle that threatens to spill from her mouth.

"I have a spare room, Doctor," she replies instead. "I have two actually, but one is for Tony when he likes to stay over," she adds quickly when he furrows his eyebrow.

Silence fills the room, and Rose pulls herself from the bed. Rose turns and smiles at him, pushing her fingers through her hair to flatten it back down. She hates the uncomfortable silence; it shouldn't be this way and yet it is. She moves the hand from her hair to her hip before looking around the room. The midday sun is spilling through the windows, and the sounds of children playing outside fills their ears. She would usually be annoyed by the loud screams of the playing children, but today she embraces the noise. If they only knew the truth. Rose looks back over at the Doctor to see him watching her with intent.

"Would you like some lunch?" she asks, her body shaking under the intensity of his stare. "I'm still not the best cook, but I am better than I used to be," she adds quickly with a nervous smile.

"Yes," he replies simply before standing up. He bends over to grab his shoes then follows her out of the room.

This house seems a mansion in itself, he thinks to himself while he follows her down the stairs and towards the kitchen. The kitchen is the same as her bedroom; pale, earthy tones with white tile. He can see French doors out to the garden from the kitchen, and he longs to sit outside in the cool air. Rose points to a barstool near a wood island while she moves to the fridge. This place isn't Rose; it seems too textbook and not home like the Estates had been.

"When did you get this house?" he asks while she pours him a glass of what looks like yellow juice.

"Umm…about a year ago," she replies, replacing the top back on the juice. "Mum thought I should get out on my own," she adds while she places the cup in front of him. "She thought it might be good for me," she finishes, her voice cracking with emotion.

The Doctor nods his head in agreement then takes ahold of the cup. The tastes surprises him and he furrows his brow at Rose, who is smiling back at him with tongue between her teeth

"Bananas," he replies with a smile.

"It's Tony's favourite," she replies, and the Doctor's brow rises higher. "Mum can't get the kid off the stuff," she adds.

Rose moves back over to the fridge, pulling out all the stuff to make lunch with. If he really is the same man, she still knows exactly how he likes his sandwiches. She hasn't been home much in the last few months, and sandwiches and crisps are about all she has.

"Sorry I don't have more," she turns and looks at him as she makes their lunch. "I haven't really had time to go the store," she adds, looking back at the sandwiches.

"That's quite alright," he smiles before taking another sip of his juice. "Though later I think we should because at this point I think I could eat a horse," he adds when he places the cup back down.

"Maria will love you then," Rose answers, looking back at him.

"Maria?" he asks.

"My mum's maid," she replies, putting the finishing touches on the sandwiches. She grabs two bags of crisps from a bowl on the counter then moves over to the island where he's seated. "I am sure my mum wants over us for supper tonight, even though I really don't want to explain to Pete why you are in this universe," she finishes, handing him his sandwich and crisps.

The Doctor picks his sandwich off the plate she's handed to him and wearyingly gives her a smile as he takes a bite of his sandwich.


End file.
